10-Day Silent Meditation Retreat: One Month Later
A month ago, I finished my first 10-day silent meditation retreat. I blogged about the experience after completing it, and I committed to reporting back at regular intervals about its lasting impacts.
My first update is that I have not been able to maintain the recommended two hours of daily meditation. However, I am pleased to report that I have meditated for an hour every morning, and sometimes in the evening. I wouldn’t say it’s an ingrained habit yet though. Research indicates that I have a few hundred more repetitions to go before I can claim that victory. Nonetheless, motivation is another key aspect of habit-building, and I am highly motivated to continue, in large part because I do see changes.
I feel calmer and more even keeled, and less reactive. Its challenging to put into words: the best way to describe it is feeling that I have gained an extra “beat” between a trigger and my reaction to it. And that “beat” creates enough space and time for me to modify my immediate reaction which is usually a good thing!
Here are three recent examples:
We were in the middle of eating a delicious meal that I had prepared for my family, when the phone rang, and my mother-in-law insisted on answering it. Instead of feeling angry and disrespected, I chose to feel only the pleasure of being at the table with my family.
Instead of tuning out during a meeting with colleagues when I thought that someone was going on for too long, I caught myself with a reminder to deeply listen and be open to hearing her contribution.
With just 48 hours’ notice, a client shifted a workshop I was facilitating in New York City to San Francisco. I admit to a momentary feeling of panic but almost immediately I was able to calmly walk through my schedule and take the steps needed to accommodate my client’s request.
At our Thanksgiving roundtable discussion of “What are you most grateful for this year?”, I said that I was most grateful for developing more equanimity (“mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation”). Thank you Vipassana Society (host of the 10-day retreat) for helping to launch me on this powerful journey. More updates to come.