Connecting Meaningfully during Covid
Connect the DOTS!
Week 2 of social distancing and home confinement for most of us. Everyone is affected by this unprecedented crisis…and we all face together the uncertainty of what happens next week, next month…and down the road when things get back to normal, or the new normal, as many of us are hoping. Right now, on a Friday afternoon full of sunshine, I want to share suggestions for having meaningful connections during these super challenging times.
The most important question to ask right now is “what is the need?” As colleagues, can we really expect everyone to get down to work, participate in endless zoom meetings and be uber productive? We are human beings before we are employees (believe it or not), and many of us are working with small bandwidth (of all types), lots of people under one roof (I live in New York City), and lots and lots of uncertainty. So please, let’s definitely communicate as colleagues, and I’m all for over-communicating in a crisis, but let’s also allow team members time to take care of their personal needs.
What are the needs of my family, friends and community right now, and how can I best connect with them? And how do I put forward positive energy during these terribly stressful times, particularly when I don’t always feel that positive? I don’t have all the answers but here are some suggestions that have worked for us.
How is my family coping under one roof?
We have had dinner together every night. A rarity in non-Corona times. We have raged about politics, we have debriefed and updated each other endlessly about Corona, and we have discussed our personal pain points and frustrations during this crisis. It has been satisfying and nourishing, well beyond the food.
We have helped the older members of our clan upgrade their technology skills: showing them how to get the New York Times online, helping them navigate Zoom, and even sharing the wonders of the Internet with a live jazz concert on Instagram one night at dinner (they blown away). And for those far away, we are calling and emailing daily. It’s the daily part that is important – brief check-ins, funny stories from our day. Connection points are what they are craving.
When the boys start on-line school next week, I’m sure there will be a number of adjustments. I am committed to patience, compromise and maintaining a sense of humor (see below). And I am seriously worried about bandwidth!
What about friends and community?
How can we personally get sustenance from our communities? I have been utterly amazed by my yoga studio’s response to Corona. Classes (donations only) were immediately available on Instagram, and that gave me a sense of routine and groundedness beyond my expectations. What is your fitness option of choice? I know you can find it online! Or hey, can you take this as an opportunity to up your fitness game? Do you have more time now with no commute?...
And my improv school very quickly pivoted to offering shows (donations welcome) live via Twitch. I have been able to laugh both watching the improv and reading the hilarious chat room comments live. I have been so inspired by the team’s creativity and entrepreneurial response to this disaster.
For those of us fortunate enough to have the bandwidth (in all senses), what can we do for our community? The options are limitless. I invite you to pick one to get started. Here are some suggestions:
• Hot Bread Kitchen (I’m a board member) is asking for contributions to its emergency fund to help the families of the women we train for food service employment who have lost their jobs due to Corona.
• Check out your local volunteer organizations, such as New York Cares. They are looking for volunteers.
• Google a cause close to your heart. Whatever issue you care about from animal rights to the plight of refugees, groups are working tirelessly to help vulnerable communities, and you can support them. Please, do the research and then connect.
• Many folks in NYC have help…it’s a way of life in the Big Apple. So, please, please, if you can afford to, do continue to pay your helpers and cleaners. They want to come to work, they just can’t.
We all need to socialize. We are social beings! The innovations around online social connections in the past couple of weeks have been dizzying. For example, I am hosting a live music performance on zoom for friends and colleagues. It’s an experiment and I’m excited to connect folks . Another friend of mine is leading a weekly group meditation on zoom. Ted is offering live talks at 12 noon EST and has launched Ted Circles. In these troubled times, music is a source of comfort and joy. So why not join DJ D-Nice’s daily dance party? You can hang out with everyone there, including Michelle Obama the other day! We need sources of joy right now.
Stay safe, stay healthy and please stay home!