Today, my day got off to what many would call an excellent start.

• I was up early enough to make sure the water coolers were filled for my son’s 8:00 am baseball game.

• We planned enough travel time to arrive punctually for warm up.

• I used the time before the game to go for a walk in nature.

• My TikTok post (antoniabowring963) had a lot of views (for me) and I got 4 new followers.

• My son hit well and made some good field plays.

• My son’s team won the game.

• By 10:30am we were back at the hotel and I felt successful on many levels.

Sure, how can I not feel good? So much went right this morning. But while I embrace this positive feeling, I try to hold it lightly. I know that many days don’t start off this well. So, how do we set ourselves up to have a good day even if it starts out badly?

I have been grappling with this question for a while. And I have gained some insights through reading Buddhist philosophy. This is where the important concept of “non-attachment” comes into play. In Buddhism, this concept means “not clinging to or being overly affected by either positive or negative experiences, thoughts, or emotions.”

I am no Buddhist scholar, but I am an eager student, and I am aware of three key Buddhism concepts linked to non-attachment that impact how we start (and finish) our day: balance and equanimity, impermanence and inner-peace.

In my plain talk, non-attachment helps us maintain balance and equanimity which allows us to stay calm and centered regardless of what happens. Impermanence helps us understand how to hold the good things as lightly as the bad things because everything comes and goes. When we get too attached to a specific outcome or experience, we can be easily disappointed. And if we are successful at practicing non-attachment, we can achieve inner peace and reduce suffering for ourselves and others.

But let’s get practical. How can we practice non-attachment so that we can maintain equanimity…and progress towards inner peace? The image that equanimity creates in my mind is a boat that keeps moving across the sea steadily and purposefully without being too bothered by the good or bad weather. I am practicing ways to feel even-keeled and calm, regardless of the situation or emotions.

How?

I practice trying to observe without judgment. In other words I notice my thoughts and feelings without labeling them as good or bad. I just observe them as they are. So, when we couldn’t find parking the other day, and the temperature outside was close to 100 degrees, I observed my frustration but stayed focused on finding a parking solution. When I feel progress, it’s as if I can observe my thoughts and feelings without letting them have too much power over me.

I also practice letting go of my need to hold on to positive experiences or push away negative ones. For instance, when my son’s team lost their first baseball game of the tournament, it was hard not to hold onto that as a negative experience. But I reminded myself, it is through adversity that we learn and I need to just accept the loss for what it is.

Finally, just as regular exercise helps us to maintain our physical health, my daily meditation practice helps me to continue to develop awareness and presence. I can definitely feel that this regular ritual supports the development of non-attachment.

I have this tool kit available – and I keep building it – to handle the days where things start off ‘differently.’ I’m not going to say badly though! Whatever comes my way, I am working towards navigating all of my life’s experiences with a sense of calm and clarity, and reducing my burden through reducing the highs and lows of my reactions.

If you are looking to feel more at peace, I encourage you to practice observing your emotions, rather than holding on to them or pushing them away. On those days that don’t start off as well as you’d like — and we all have them —  observe your emotions. Get curious about them …have a wee conversation with your emotions to learn more. And you may find that the frustrations and challenges you feel have less of a negative impact on the rest of your day. And when that happens, that’s a win in my book.